Just The Tip Please

A few months ago I was at a wine tasting event with some friends. They were finishing up with their dinner when I decided to take a quick lap around the other room to check out the men at the event. Not noticing any cute men the huge chocolate fountain seemed to be calling my name. I ventured over, grabbed a marshmallow and stuck it in the fountain. It was DELICIOUS! So I continued to roam around the room and I then noticed the cute bartender. I kindly asked him for a napkin and gave him “the eyes.” A few minutes later I notice this old lady staring at me like she knew me. She walks over and says, “Honey it’s just not fair.” I think what that I’m single and looking for men? She says, “You have chocolate all over your face and since no one else in this room has told you I just had to.” OMG mortified! No wonder the bartender giggled after he gave me the napkin.

Flashforward to a few weeks ago, when I was in town having dinner with my family. Dinner was wrapping up so I decide to head to the bathroom while they took care of the check. Noticing what a nice night it was outside, I decide to roam down the street. As I’m walking down this busy street with hot, manly men, I begin to think my friends and I should come down here more often. Maybe this is where all the mature men have been hiding!! I walk back down the street to meet up with my family. My mother is looking at me funny and walks behind me. I feel her tugging on my pants, I immediately yell MOM what the F%$#! HYSTERICALLY laughing she holds up a foot of toilet paper that apparently was hanging out of my pants!!!!!

Yet again I’ve been publicly mortified, I really hope this is a theme that ends sooner than later. But I guess if I do ever want to meet a man I better get the chocolate off my face and make sure the restaurant toilet paper isn’t come home with me!