Just The Tip Please

You know what I can’t stand? What drives me to crazy? What makes me want to scream on the top of a building? Girls that give their opinions without being asked. We get it, we get it, you have a fucking opinion about the guy we are dating, 1000 reasons why he’s not good for us, 1000 reasons why we’re not going to marry him etc. My friends (I love them all) have an opinion more often than not, and I’m not going to lie, in recent years this has become a bit of a pet peeve for me. Sorry ladies, but if I’m not asking for your 2 cents I probably don’t want to hear it. In the past I’d love to ask my friends for advice when I’m first dating a new guy, it’s like trying to piece together a puzzle. What do you think he meant when he said, “The things girls first like about him they later hate?” Or do you think he isn’t into me because he didn’t try to kiss me after our second date? It’s fun and harmless banter, trying to understand your new beau with your best gals, and don’t get me wrong if I run into a problem or just need some good advice about what to buy him for his birthday I’ll pick up the phone to call my friends.

But as I’ve gotten older, I find myself giving my friends a disclaimer before I share a story with them about the guy I’m dating. “I’m going to tell you what happened last night, but I don’t want you to judge him” or “I already know what you’re going to say, I don’t want to hear it but just need to vent if that’s okay.” I also find myself justifying his actions or mine actions – because one of my friends is on my case about it, ah last I check it’s none of your business.  It seems that no matter how many disclaimers I put out there, my friends can’t keep their big mouths shut. Women have something to say about friggin everything and it drives me bonkers…this friend thinks he’s crazy, that friend thinks he’s using me, this friend hates him, even though she’s never met him, it goes on, and on, and on…and I’m not saying that sometimes their opinions aren’t right, but sometimes you just don’t want to hear it, yea know? Maybe you need to learn for ourself or maybe they end up being completley wrong, but still put this negative thought in your head about the guy you’ve been sharing a bed with, and now you’re all worked up and mad at him because of your friend’s spectulation…it’s stupid, chidlish, and not fair to your relationship. The one thing I’ve learned these past few years is less is more – the less you tell your friends about the inner workings of your relationship the better – because chances are you’re probably sharing more of the negative, than the positive and if your friends are like my friends, they will have already formed an opinion in their heads about your new beau before meeting the poor guy…so ladies, we get it you have an opinion, but there is that old saying – if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all…words to live by if you ask me.