Just The Tip Please

Since we are on the subject of online dating I figured I would write another blog about this site.  When I first signed up, I received on average 10 emails a day, and slowly weaned out the old men, 19 year olds, and sketchy men that were amongst the batch.  Typical online dating.  After all was said and done, there was one guy, I was interested in.  So the night had come and the anticipation of seeing my date in person was at an all time high.  Standing on the street corner I anxiously and impatiently waited for my date, I waited……and waited, and got to thinking, this is the most nerve wracking part about online dating!  We know we have a lot in common, and get along great online, but this is the ultimate test.

Every guy that passed me I thought ‘Is that him?  No…there he is?  Ohhh he’s cuter than I thought….oh still not him.  Okay this guy is definitely him, tall, blonde, cute, it’s him…oh god what if he sees me and doesn’t like what he sees and pretends he’s not meeting me?  Is he really walking by me….OH MY GOD I HATE DATING!!!!!  Oh that wasn’t him.’  I am instantly over the anxiety of standing on a street corner, to meet some guy I don’t know who may not like me, who may not look like his picture, who is a good 15 minutes late….UGH!!!!  But then, ‘Oh here he comes, this has to be him.  Yup it’s him, he’s coming this way!!!  He’s a lot cuter than his picture maybe this won’t be so bad??’  Then he opened his mouth…and I was wishing he had just walked by me, because the other thing I hate about dating is being on a bad date.  Live and learn – next time I’ll be sure to talk to the guy on the phone before meeting him in person.  Mess.

There is this new online dating site that’s free called Plenty of Fish.  I recently joined after a friend told me about it – I thought it’s free, why not?  I’ve been on the site for almost four months and have gone out/talked to a few different guys and I’ve decided they should rename the site “Plenty of Fucking Idiots.”  That’s about all I’ve met on the site – lots of idiots.   I think my latest date sums up the site.  First, he makes me drive 45 minutes to meet him, which I don’t mind doing, but a considerate guy would have met me halfway.  Second, we get to the bar and he insists on buying me a drink I don’t want, who drinks a scorpion bowl on a first date, after Freshman Year of College anyway!?!?

Then the conversation went as follows…

His opinion about romantic commercials on at the bar.

HIM:  Oh my god, this commercial is such an anti-hard on.

ME:  Hmmm…ok.

And then we discussed passed relationships.

HIM:  So have you been in a lot of relationships?

ME:  A few, I had one long term one a few years back and another one this summer, but nothing really serious in between.

HIM:  Oh, so what did you do in between masturbate?

Then he brought up marriage.

HIM:  I NEVER want to get married, I’m assuming you do because you’re a girl; all girls want to get married.  Marriage ruins everything.

ME:  (No response)

The chair he was sitting in.

HIM:  This chair is uncomfortable.

ME:  Oh really, do you have a bad back?  We can change seats if you’d like.

HIM:  No.  It’s just killing my balls.

ME:  Adios idiot.

My favorite part about this interaction is the guy thought it went well and wanted to go out again and when I blew him off couldn’t understand why.  REALLY?!?!