Just The Tip Please

You know what I can’t stand? What drives me to crazy? What makes me want to scream on the top of a building? Girls that give their opinions without being asked. We get it, we get it, you have a fucking opinion about the guy we are dating, 1000 reasons why he’s not good for us, 1000 reasons why we’re not going to marry him etc. My friends (I love them all) have an opinion more often than not, and I’m not going to lie, in recent years this has become a bit of a pet peeve for me. Sorry ladies, but if I’m not asking for your 2 cents I probably don’t want to hear it. In the past I’d love to ask my friends for advice when I’m first dating a new guy, it’s like trying to piece together a puzzle. What do you think he meant when he said, “The things girls first like about him they later hate?” Or do you think he isn’t into me because he didn’t try to kiss me after our second date? It’s fun and harmless banter, trying to understand your new beau with your best gals, and don’t get me wrong if I run into a problem or just need some good advice about what to buy him for his birthday I’ll pick up the phone to call my friends.

But as I’ve gotten older, I find myself giving my friends a disclaimer before I share a story with them about the guy I’m dating. “I’m going to tell you what happened last night, but I don’t want you to judge him” or “I already know what you’re going to say, I don’t want to hear it but just need to vent if that’s okay.” I also find myself justifying his actions or mine actions – because one of my friends is on my case about it, ah last I check it’s none of your business.  It seems that no matter how many disclaimers I put out there, my friends can’t keep their big mouths shut. Women have something to say about friggin everything and it drives me bonkers…this friend thinks he’s crazy, that friend thinks he’s using me, this friend hates him, even though she’s never met him, it goes on, and on, and on…and I’m not saying that sometimes their opinions aren’t right, but sometimes you just don’t want to hear it, yea know? Maybe you need to learn for ourself or maybe they end up being completley wrong, but still put this negative thought in your head about the guy you’ve been sharing a bed with, and now you’re all worked up and mad at him because of your friend’s spectulation…it’s stupid, chidlish, and not fair to your relationship. The one thing I’ve learned these past few years is less is more – the less you tell your friends about the inner workings of your relationship the better – because chances are you’re probably sharing more of the negative, than the positive and if your friends are like my friends, they will have already formed an opinion in their heads about your new beau before meeting the poor guy…so ladies, we get it you have an opinion, but there is that old saying – if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all…words to live by if you ask me.

Miss P: I don’t totally know how I feel about this.

Miss T: Oh, I know how I feel.  Fuck Yes!

Miss P: Okay, Whoa!

Miss T: If a guys penis is too small I feel like I can give him a hand job with two fingers.

Miss P: Why are giving hand jobs at all, can’t guys do that themselves?

Miss P: I don’t really know, I have only ever had one small penis.

Miss T: Maybe you need some more penis!!

Miss P: I’m not denying that.

Miss T: Too small, is just too small you got nothing to work with.

Miss P: Some ladies say that it’s all in the way they use it what do you think about that?

Miss T: Well if there is nothing there to use, then I don’t really know if it matters.

Miss P: I know I have really enjoyed when with a bigger penises they tend to have more confidence in the bed.

Miss P: I think the size really matters for a lot of ladies when it comes to blow jobs.

Miss T: Oh for sure, the three times I’ve had large men, I’ve had to stop because I was gagging.

Miss P: Guys with large penises need to not mouth fuck you, it is hard enough to give you a blow job, but pushing it too far is      not going to get either of us anyway.

Miss T:  Yeah that is no good, my mouth is delicate.

Miss P: Yeah, if you are going to mouth fuck me why don’t we just have sex, less jaw locking and less gagging.

Miss T: I feel like if I am going to give a blowjob to a guy with a big dick, I need to take some sword swallowing lessons.

Miss P: I’m sure if a guy that had that large of a dick heard you say that you would be a blow job away from swallowing a dick!

Miss T: Awesome.

Miss T: Does the size of the girl matter?

Miss P: I just think if they are too big and the girl is too small it is just an issue period, I mean if I can’t deal with it then how is a teeny tiny girl going to deal?

Since the Miss’ couldn’t answer all the questions that go along with this loaded question, we threw the question out to some friends who we knew would have some opinions on the topic.

Miss Bejecca is a tiny person and can answer our question of does the size of the girl matter…

So, I have a teeny Vagina.  Its small, but its cute (probably my best feature).  Therefore the thought of a huge “you know what” scares me.  I would much rather have a smaller then average man then a very large man.  Don’t get me wrong, too small (and by too small I mean 3.75 inches or smaller) is not pleasurable (sorry tiny dong-ed men). Now there can also be a discussion about girth.  Too much girth is BAD.  OUCH!  A guy can be average sized and be very thick, and that’s no good.  But long and skinny is not so great either . . . so basically what this all comes down to is SIZE DOES MATTER.  It’s just like story of Goldylocks and the three bears. It has to be JUST RIGHT! (and in the end you get caught sleeping in someone else’s bed)

Miss Red doesn’t think size is a big factor for her, but she wants the big guys to know that size isn’t everything…

Does size really matter?  I had to think about if it was ever a concern of mine and I have to say it’s not.  That doesn’t mean I am not completely guilty of brunching with my girlfriends talking about who was big and who wasn’t, but I think it was just conversation.  To be honest, I have been in the position where a guy is not big and works a LOT harder to pleasure me because of it.  Sometime dudes with big dicks think there just going to thrust it in there and it will the most euphoric night of my life.  You wish!  Not the case at all.  Need to make more of an effort to gain that right.

Miss Flash prefers different sizes for different acts, but likes her men big…

Selfishly I would like to say yes size matters. Here is why…
When giving a blow job, the smaller the better, the less to try to cram in my mouth and whatnot. I don’t need it large during this act.  When giving a hand job (remind me why I need to do this when he is perfectly capable?!) average works for me. If it is too small then my hand will barely fit on the whole shaft and having to use only a few fingers is just embarrassing for him…and he if doesn’t think so, he better check himself!  When having sex, I will take size Large and XL please.  Personally, I am a girl that likes both a G-spot orgasm and clit.  So the larger ‘up in me’ the better.  I have yet to have someone “too big.”  I don’t need someone falling out of me when I am just about to climax.

Sounds pretty plain and simple….if only it was.  Tell us what you guys think.

Most of my friends don’t know this about me, but last summer I became an addict.  My drug of choice took me over emotionally, physically, and mentally.  It’s all I thought about, all I wanted, and was the last thing I could have or should want to have, or so I thought.   So what was my drug of choice?  Wasn’t booze, wasn’t cocaine, or meth, or pot, or hell wasn’t even cigarettes; my drug was a married man.  I knew it was wrong, but man when I was with him did it feel right.  It started out innocent, friendship, hand holding, drunk flirting, but when the words came out of his mouth – “I’m not supposed to feel like this…” I knew in some way I was his drug, too.  It started innocently enough, spooning on a couch.  We knew it was wrong and nothing happened at first, but with each late night jaunt we got closer and closer.  Hands traveled places they shouldn’t, and then one night my shirt came off and well the rest is history.  The first time we were together we didn’t kiss, maybe we did for a few seconds, but the kissing came later.  I remember the next day thinking everyone could read mistress on my face.  I didn’t sleep that first night, heck I didn’t sleep most nights he and I were together.  The first time it happened I thought that’d be it, we got it out of our system, one and done…I didn’t tell a soul.  I knew what my friends were going to say, my family, I had made my bed and had to lie in it, and lie I did…I lied to my best friends, my family, to co-workers, everyone I cared about became people I couldn’t let in.  I wish I could sit here and say I didn’t fuel the affair, but I’d be lying again, so I’m going to tell you the truth, I was just as much to blame as he was, I welcomed the 2 am online conversations, I didn’t put a stop to the inappropriate texts, and even when I knew I shouldn’t be alone with him in my apartment I was..hell one night I remember praying and hoping he’d call after we left a mutual friend at a bar…and he did, and it happened a few more times over a few months.  One time we both agreed it had to stop but a month later, he was back naked in my bed.

Why did I keep going back for more?  Like an addict, I was addicted to him, to the way we talked, the way he knew me so well, the way he touched me, the physical intimacy and passion that existed between us…up until that point I had never felt the kind of passion with a guy, the way I did with him.  But as the story goes, the mistress never gets the guy in the end…what I got was a headache, a headache over the guilt, over the lying.  I even ended up going to confession!!  Yes I told a priest, I was having an affair with a married man; and in case any of you are wondering the penance for that is ten Our Fathers and the Act of Contrition.  I wish I was joking.  Anyway, when the two of us were together time stood still, but when we weren’t together reality was staring me in face…it wasn’t until my friends started catching me in lies I knew I had reached the end of the road.  When I finally came out with it, my friends had known, they said what I knew there were going to say, I took their advice and began to move on or tried to…I wish I could tell you that I quit my drug by choice, because I was ready to quit it, but external circumstances actually made me quit my drug.  Eventually, I would have had the will power and strength to give it up, but am thankful that fate stepped in and helped because my drug of choice was killing my spirit, my relationships, and broke my moral compass….and even though the highs were highs; the lows were low and lonely.  After all, we all know the married man never leaves his wife for the mistress, and if he does who’s to say he’s not going to turn around and do the exact same thing to you.

Hell, I have a blog about hooking up and dating, it puts my business out there, but I gotta be honest some of my most privates stuff doesn’t make it in an entry. So, tell me this why do some people love to tell every detail? Sometimes it is just too much information for me. I can get embarrassed pretty easy as it is, but when my friend is telling me his dirty thoughts about her body over a cocktail, I just want to run away. Some things should be kept to yourself. You can tell me about your connection with your guy, without telling me about you most intimate moments. I don’t need to know how it feels when he is inside you. PLEASE, Please Keep It To Yourself!

We’ve all seen Sex In The City, ladies talk. Sure we do, we always talk, but some people talk too much. It’s okay (sorry boys) to talk about your man’s package, maybe reveal their size and how they use it, but get into how much they came or what their face looked like when they came, Too Much! It’s okay to talk about his kissing style, but then to talk about how he kissed when he went down low, ugh Too Much! Do you enjoy yourself in these moments or are you too busy thinking about how you are going to describe this to your cringing friends the next day? When I’m in the hookup…ohhh I’m in it! It is hard to remember every moment and especially not the smallest details. My advice, enjoy yourself. If you find yourself thinking of a friend during a hookup, you’re not in it. And I guarantee that friend will get grossed out to find out she was part of these most intimate moments with your man. Forget about what your friends are going to think, what she might say about this move or that, because if that is your reason for hooking up you are missing out. So ladies, your friends don’t really want all the juicy details, keep some to yourself. And I’m talking to some of the other Miss’ on this blog, too (you know who you are) TMI…TMI…TMI!