Just The Tip Please

They CAN!  I’m proof that it can happen.  Unlike Miss T, I have never hooked up with a guy friend.  Not once.  (Well maybe once if you count the guy that I was “friends” with, but I never really considered him a friend, I was always trying for more although it took a while to get to that point.)  I consider myself to be a guy’s kinda girl, I like sports and love to watch them, can hang out with the guys, but love to hang with my girlfriends as well, so this said I have a lot of guy friends and notice I am not putting quotes around the word friend because they are truly my friends.  Now, I agree with Miss T that there is sometimes an attraction there when it comes to being friends with a guy, it does take will power to really look at the guy and ask yourself, “If I were to hook up with him is it worth it to lose my friendship, if it doesn’t work out?   If these guys are truly your friends then you should know them really well and if you know your type or what kind of guy you go for then you should have your answer right away.  If you aren’t sure, then from hanging out with this guy, you call your friend, you can see how they treat a girl, hook up with girls, just their all around girl attitude so that should be a good indicator of how they will treat you.   If it’s not the way you want then keep your friendship and don’t try a relationship.  Don’t get me wrong, Miss T is right it is probably fun, safe, and easy, but I have never found that to be enough when I think of the end result.  I’ve had guy friends that I have slept in the same bed with and could have easily rolled over and hooked up, but I knew that if we did that it would change our dynamic and I knew them well enough to know that it wouldn’t be long term, fun yes, a good idea to keep a good friend, NO!  Miss T said it herself in yesterday’s blog, it usually ends messy and I like my guy friends, who else am I going to watch football with on Sunday?  And who else am I going to have around to help me figure out guys?  So ladies if he’s really your friend then keep it that way!

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My friends and I have had long discussions on the question “Can guys and girls be just friends?”  We came to many conclusions but no real answers.  Miss P and I especially have different views on this topic, complete opposite to be exact.  So I’m posting my blog why they CAN’T and then Miss P’s tomorrow on why she believes they CAN and you guys can take our poll tomorrow and be the deciding factor on the “Can guys and girls be just friends?

Why do I think they can’t?  Because…THEY CAN’T!  Even if you don’t agree with me, I’m telling you they can’t.  I have hooked up with practically every guy ‘friend’ I’ve had.  Why?  It’s safe, they’re there, they make a move, I’ve always been attracted to them, I’m wasted, you know what I’m talking about.  NOW, even if you have never hooked up with one of your guy friends, I bet you that:  a) They have wanted to hook up with you, but were afraid to make a move, or b) You are attracted to them and wanted to make a move, but were also afraid.  I’m sorry but I think that when guys and girls are close ‘friends’ one of them has a secret attraction to the other one that they may or may not ever admit.  I have been there, I’ve done it…the attraction may be unspoken to others and people may deny it, BUT at the end of the day one of you is attracted to the other sexually.  My advice… give in, go for it, why not?  Hooking up with my guy friends have been some of the best hook ups I’ve had.  Actually scratch that, they have been some of the messiest…and it’s probably better to just stay friends, but I personally find it impossible.

Check back tomorrow for the other side of the argument…

Met a guy at a bar (problem #1) agreed to go on a date with him after talking on the phone for a week.  He had a great laugh, healthy, hardy, sweet, honest sounding.  He talked about all sorts of things and really was trying to prove a point he wasn’t like all the other dogs out there.  We met for sushi and sake and got into a conversation about what each other’s intentions were with each other.  I thought it would be a cute idea to make him write them down and I would do the same.  He starts writing in bullet points!  I had one sentence….Maybe this wasn’t the best idea.  Somehow the joke on the date became, ”Well, we will see if in time if you can handle the mysterious bullet point #4.”  I wondered what it was but neither of us wanted to disclose these intentions we wrote down and I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear his after seeing the bullet points.  Finally, 2am and 3 bottles of sake and some wine later, come to find he had a bullet point 4a, 4b and 4c!  They went like this…a)both nipples were pierced (he told me, I didn’t bare witness), b) he was a former stripper with a fancy stripper name and all and c) was a self proclaimed “dominatrix-into S&M and sex parties.”  Go ahead, absorb all that…and no I won’t tell you my bullet #4, this is a place to put them on blast not me!

I really have to give a big shout out to all my friends who have ever set me up with a guy.  Now, I do think it’s important if if you are going to set someone up on a ‘date’ they should gather all the necessary information about the guy, to make sure he’d be a good match with you…my friend did not.

THE PLAN: Meet my friend at happy hour to meet ‘Gary.’

THE GUY: The moment I saw Gary I was impressed.  He was a bit taller than me, cute, personable, and not a bad dresser…definitely ‘my type.’

THE DYNAMIC: Gary and I were talking a lot and flirting.  SUCCESS!  Or so it seemed.  Gary went to the bathroom and my friend reaffirmed what I already thought…he totally likes you!  This is great!    It was pretty great for that first hour, but ladies, never get ahead of yourself when it comes to dating in Los Angeles….Later, my friend started to probe Gary about his dating situation…..the conversation went something like this.  “So Gary are you dating anyone?”

THE VERDICT: “I’m gay.”

THE REACTION: EVERYTHING IN THE BAR IMMEDIATELY STOPPED.  “EXCUSE ME?”  My friend went on to say… “No you’re not.”  “Yes I am.  I’m gay and I have a boyfriend.” OF COURSE HE IS GAY!!  THIS IS THE FIRST DATE A FRIEND HAS SET ME UP ON IN AWHILE AND HE’S NOT ONLY TAKEN, BUT GAY.  SHOOT ME.  JUST SHOOT ME.  APPARENTLY HE ALSO LIKES THE TIP….CAN YOU BLAME HIM?

THE CONCLUSION: If you’re going to set your friend up ask a few questions first, but make sure to ask… “Do you like women?”

When you’re an adolescent girl who has a crush on a boy you usually get something they call ‘butterflies’ in your stomach.  That feeling of excitement and contentment when you’re around that special someone….Now there are two guys imparticular that I can recall this ‘butterfly’ like feeling happening with, it was back when I was in high school.  The first guy was my first “official” boyfriend.  When we first started dating I always had the butterflies around him.  First off, I couldn’t believe he liked me because we were the definition of different, different interests, different friends, etc.  But we dated for almost four months, over time the butterflies dissipated a bit, UNTIL one night when we were on the phone, the butterflies seem to come rushing back.  I had to hang up on him.  I ran into the bathroom and threw up.  I called him back and continued the conversation like nothing had happened.  I didn’t think much of it, but night after night for the next week this happened, and NO I wasn’t sick.  Then he broke up with me that following Monday….and I puked again, maybe it was woman’s intuition.  I wish that were the end of the story.  When I started dating my 8^th grade crush I was beyond ecstatic, the butterflies made yet another cameo and my level of happiness was at an all time high!  Our first date – a movie.  I ate dinner before he picked up and then I felt it, that awful, awful feeling…running to the bathroom I threw up my entire dinner, meanwhile he’s honking in my driveway.  First date jitters?  NOPE.  Second date – mid dinner – Pizza Hut…that feeling building and building…Oh god.  Oh no…running to the bathroom…SHIT someone is in there…ahh and then ladies and gentlemen I puked in my mouth and held it there for a good two minutes or so until the lady came out of the bathroom…and then what happened next I finished throwing up, washed my mouth out and went back to the dinner table like nothing ever happened.  Hey when you like them you like them?  The good news is I haven’t puked on or before a date in quite awhile, however I did faint during one, but that’s a whole other blog.

FURNS!  Now most of you may not have a Furns in your life, but man you should!  Furns is that guy that you hooked up with when you were a junior in college, and then hooked up with again when you were a senior…so what it was coincidentally on Valentine’s Day?  It was what it was, a hot hook up and nothing more.  So you would think four years after college when I ran into the Furns again we wouldn’t end up embraced outside of a cheesy dive bar hardcore making out, but if you needed me that night that’s where you’d find me.   Isn’t it great to have that guy around? The guy who you know you can hook up with over and over again no matter what the circumstance, as long as he’s still single and so am I, you know to expect when you randomly run into him and I say…Bring It!  Haven’t seen the Furns in a few weeks, but last time we saw each other he didn’t disappoint.  I look forward to seeing the Furns in ’09 and really think, anyone that doesn’t have a Furns in their life should get one stat!

I’m sure most of you have had a fuck buddy in the past that fulfilled just what you needed…sex!  I had a buddy for a while, we were on and off for years.  He came over to my apt., I went to his….he had a “girlfriend,”  he didn’t have a girlfriend, I was seeing a guy, I wasn’t so I called him up…you know how it goes.  Toward the end of the “relationship” he was on and off with this one girl and decided that in order to continue our romps while he was “off” the girl he had to set some boundaries in case they were on again.   So apparently there are ‘rules’ to casually sleeping with someone.

Get ready for these ego filled numbers…
MAN Rule #1: No nails…(During sex it leaves evidence for his other hoes or girlfriend to see!)
MAN Rule #2: No weekends (That’s a dead give away of guiltiness to a girlfriend or significant other!
Man Rule #3: No cell phone calls, only texts (because calls show up in phone bills, but texts don’t!)
Man Rule #4: Overnights will be at the man’s discretion. (He will decide if he wants to spend the night at YOUR crib- what if he’s NOT invited!?)
Man Rule #5: No more than two times in one month. (You might not be that good to want more than twice a month! Maybe you are just a ‘filler’?!)

And this guy continued to get ladies who were willing to follow the rules, let me just say that we are now officially OFF!

I was at a bar one night with my girlfriends.  We were there five minutes when I got sucked into a conversation with this cute guy.  He was sitting down and grabbed my arm.  He was sweet, personable, and attractive!  What luck?!  The two of us talked for hours about everything and anything…he went in to kiss me and I kissed him back.  Lip locked at the bar for a good hour, I had no idea where my friends were nor did I really care at that point, my main focus was his washboard abs…HOT!  My friends and I have the rest of our lives to hang out, a few hours without me won’t kill them….so the night is coming to an end, and my fine new friend has to use the bathroom.  We both stand up….and this guy or should I say boy, comes up to my waist!  No wonder we were sitting down the whole time.  Now, I’m not superficial at all, nor am I shallow, but this guy was too short!  I mean!  I felt like the Jolly Green Giant and I’m only 5′6″ tall.  No wonder he stayed seated the entire night……

Oh and I’d like to apologize to my friends for ditching them….it wasn’t worth it.

One Saturday night where Miss T and I had nothing to do, no horrible dates, no house parties, and no interest in going to the bar we were sitting around talking about what people do when they don’t go out drinking…yes we may have an alcohol problem and we are okay with it.  We didn’t want to get coffee and had already seen a movie so we were just chatting when I came up with the idea to post a craigslist ad, just for fun.  We sign on to casual encounters and put up an ad that said something about two bored women looking for men and asking for suggestions on what to do with our evening.  Within minutes of the posting going up we were flooded with emails of guys desperate to meet us.  Great!  We got many propositions, of course most were for both of us together.  (Should have been more specific that we wanted two men)  One of my favorite responses saying, ”I have an idea, one of you can sit on my cock, while one of you sits on my face” ahaha great!  So this is what guys are doing on a Saturday night, instead of out trying to find fine ladies like us.  Seriously, trolling the Internet for someone to “sit on my face”, “69”, “give a massage,” or “just get right to the sex!”  It’s no wonder we can’t find a decent guy in LA!  So if you are interested in meeting a pool of guys in a short amount of time, craigslist is for you, but I am not guaranteeing quality.

Our friend was at the bar the other night with a bunch of her girlfriends, just having a few beers, and this guy came up to them to ask a question…”If the guy just sticks the tip in does it count as sex?”  Yes, this really happened and we want to know your opinion, Does it count as sex when they just stick the tip in or not?

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